Versus

would you rather:

• have your own Transformer.

Literally a giant transforming robot car, with laser cannon hands that also doubles as your own personal chauffeur/designated driver/witty best friend,

• Pros
• “Giant transforming robot car” - sort of explains itself.
• Excellent sense of humor.
• Laser cannon hands.
• No need to worry about gas.  Ever.

• Cons
• Really likes Rick Astley.
• Still doesn’t understand American football, even though you’ve explained it to him 1000 times.

OR,

• be a ninja.

You’re literally a ninja.  You have your regular day job, but you’re also a badass ninja.

• Pros
• You can straight up climb walls - no more elevators for you.  Ever.
• Hate goodbyes?  Out drinking and forget your wallet at home?  No worries because you can straight up “ninja vanish.”  Poof of smoke and your butt’s out of there.
• Unparalleled sword skills.
• Handle yourself in any situation you may find yourself.
• Cons
• Need to visit the chiropractor almost daily because you “can’t stand still.”
• Wardrobe is mostly black, much to your significant others chagrin.

I don’t know which one would be better.  Either way I’m sure having a Transformer or being a ninja is better than anything you currently have going on in your life.

-D.A.