My ideal job? Major League Baseball 1st base coach.
- PROS:
- Watch baseball games from the FIELD. Screw your field level seats, I’m FIELD ON, sucker.
- Eat sunflower seeds. Great snack and excellent source of fiber.
- Endless supply of Gatorade.
- Dress like a pro athlete. Everyday is Halloween, but you get PAID for it.
- You ARE the high five guy. Single, walk, hit by pitch. As long as the player is still on 1st, he’s coming to you for a high five.
- CONS
- Getting hit by a line a drive and having 40,000+ spectators watch you piss and crap yourself as you flop around and die. This one should count as 2 cons.
- Slapping another dude on the ass. Pro sports needs to let this one go. Pat on the back is just fine.
Either way you cut it, I bet being a 1st base coach is better than your job.
-D.A.
